By SheGoneWild
I’m back, and finally sitting down to write a post.
This one’s a bit of real talk. As everything in my blog, it’s my personal experience and perspective, so of course, it might differ from what others have felt.
To put it bluntly: I didn’t love life in Canada; more specifically, I didn’t love living in Toronto.
It was subtle. A kind of soul-fatigue.
I missed warmth, not just in weather, but in energy. I missed spontaneity. I missed hearing birds in the morning instead of traffic. I missed being around people who laugh loudly and live slowly.
So when the opportunity to start fresh in Saint Lucia came along, a place I’d never even visited before, I took the leap.
Landing here for the first time was like stepping into a postcard – lush green hills, tropical heat, and a vibrant energy that instantly stirred something in me. But beyond the beauty, those first days brought surprises, questions, and all the little challenges every newcomer faces when starting over in a brand new place.
I had a stable life, a decent job, and routines that made sense on paper. But the longer I stayed, the louder that quiet pull inside me got – the one that whispered, “You don’t belong here.”
So I listened.
And I left. Again.
Choosing Soul Over Structure
When you’ve lived abroad for years like I have, people expect you to settle eventually, to find a “forever” place and stop moving. But my life has never followed a neat timeline. I follow what feels aligned, I am drawn to places that shift me, stretch me, make me look at life differently. Canada was supposed to be my pause. My “be practical for a while” chapter.
Canada gave me a sort of stability, but it mostly dulled my fire. The winters were long. The culture, while polite, felt disconnected. I was not comfortable and not alive.
Don’t get me wrong, Canada taught me a lot. It gave me opportunities, friendships, and definitely confirmed my thoughts on the life I want to live. I craved something slower, softer, warmer, in every sense of the word.
That’s when I knew I had to make my move towards my ultimate goal.
And not just for a visit. I want to root.
Saint Lucia isn’t perfect – no place is. But it feels right, for now. And it is getting close to what I am looking for.
It gives me space to breathe, to create, to reconnect with parts of myself that had gone quiet. I wake up and see green hills and hear the birds chirping. I drink coconut water bought from alongside the road. I take time with things. I’m not just working – I’m living again.
I Thought Canada Was The Dream – Until It Wasn’t
I dreamt of Canada.
The trip I did with my parents as a kid stuck with me for years, it was the plan all along, move to Canada and I eventually made it happen. I moved to Toronto thinking it would be easier to find work, and it was; I find a job within the first month. I landed there just in time for summer. I planned it this way so I wouldn’t be traumatized by my first winter!
One thing though, Toronto in summer is a vibe!
The city buzzes with festivals, patios, and outdoor activities. I was exploring, meeting people, soaking it all in. I thought that this might actually work.
But then winter was coming, and it was a shock.
A girl I met during a meet up once told me she cried herself to sleep every night for three months after arriving, she came during winter. That stayed with me. I am not gonna lie, I was worried of what to come. Thankfully, a friend from France connected me with one of his friend who was moving to Toronto towards the end of the year. This led to me meeting with another of their friend living in Montreal. We spent Christmas together, that was actually also the day we first met! We had dinner and played games, we laughed a lot, and it still is one of my favorite memories.
But eventually…life sets in.
Toronto winter is no joke, I knew it would be a massive change for me and even if, as per locals, my first winter was mild; for me it was COLD, bear in mind I just came from 9 years of sunshine between New Zealand and Australia. I didn’t get extreme cold for 9 years. Even in France, the winter are bearable.
Life quickly became a terrible routine: wake up, commute, work, commute, gym, home.
The sun disappeared. The color drained out of everything. And it is hard to keep the habit that I used to have, walking for an hour on my lunch break – definitely NOT happening in winter lol
I was exhausted and uninspired. If I needed confirmation that nature and sun is the key for a healthy mind and body, I got it right there.
However, what really got to me was the lack of life. No spontaneity. No connection.
And I’m sorry, but juggling two or three jobs? Just to make ends meet… It’s not life! I’ve lived in London, Auckland, and Sydney – some of the most expensive cities in the world, and yet I still manage to work, enjoy life and save. In Toronto, I was working the 9-5, unpaid overtime, with just 15 vacation days a year, and 3 sick days a year (??). Even my office work in Australia allowed me more freedom and a true balance between work and personal life.
Coming from a European country, I’ve realized more than ever that the North American lifestyle just isn’t for me. Like seriously, are we on this planet just to be born, work, and die? I don’t think so.
That’s not life.
My body started rejecting it all.
I was becoming someone I didn’t recognize.
I could have tried other places in Canada, I visited other cities, but I was not feeling it. And the politics in the country were not the best either. These taxes system is probably one of the worst I’ve seen, apart from France. What I will remember from Canada is that you work and pay taxes, that’s it. On top of this, as if life was on my side; the visa requirements for Canada changed and it became harder again to be able to stay. So definitely time to go.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Even Torontonians I met abroad warned me about it. I listened, but I still wanted to see it for myself and make up my own mind, because if I was to tell someone who wants to go live in France, I would probably warn them too.
More and more people are leaving Ontario and Canada in general; it’s not the same as it used to be they all say. But that’s a whole other story…
And here’s the thing: I’ve lived abroad for over a decade. I know there’s better out there. So why force myself to stay?
And Then I Chose Saint Lucia
I’m writing this from a coffee shop overlooking the boats in the marina, trying to put into words how I’m feeling now that I’m here. It’s been a month since I landed, even my friends are asking how I am feeling and the answer is I feel good! Really good.
Before leaving Canada, I had a lot on my mind. I wouldn’t say I had cold feet exactly, but I was feeling uncertain. It reminded me of when I left New Zealand for Australia. I wasn’t excited; I didn’t even really want to go. But it was the right move at the time, and it ended up being one of the best decisions I ever made – I stayed there for seven years and enjoyed my life there.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to come to Saint Lucia – I did – but this change just felt different. Even though it is something I have planned on doing later in my life, it’s the kind of move that asks you to let go of a lot of what you’re used to. And deep down, I was wondering if I was truly ready for that.
I landed right in time for the rainy season (great timing, I know). On the way to the Airbnb I’d booked for my first month, the rain was pouring down. A proper welcome! In France, we say: “mariage pluvieux, mariage heureux” – a rainy wedding is a happy wedding – so I’m choosing to see it as a good omen!
The landing itself was a sight to behold. Saint Lucia was cloaked in thick clouds, and when the plane broke through, the island revealed itself – lush, green, with those iconic Pitons in full view. I’m glad I had a row to myself because I was smiling like a little kid.
(By the way, if you want that view, pick a window seat on the left side of the plane when facing the cockpit!)
A friend of mine came to pick me up from the airport, and I can’t tell you how comforting it was to see a familiar face. It’s actually the first time I’ve moved to a country where I already know someone, and it made everything feel a little less intimidating.
As I mentioned, I’d booked an Airbnb for the first month to get settled and give myself time to find something more permanent. It’s been convenient and really nice – so nice, in fact, that I’ve extended my stay a little longer while I look for something more permanent.
And just like that, the adjustment began and I will talk about this in other posts.
“Why Saint Lucia?” Why not?
When I was younger, I had this idea that around my fifties, I’d go live on an island for the rest of my life. I’m a bit early for that but life chooses the timing, and I believe it’s usually the perfect timing.
Saint Lucia had been on my list for a while. The hills, the lush nature, the food, the music… like many islands, these are the things that attract me, a healthier, slower lifestyle.
I could have picked a French-speaking island, but I genuinely enjoy speaking English every day.
All the stress I was carrying from being in Toronto – the lack of sun, fresh fruits, and sea breeze – disappeared within just a few days. I felt good really quickly. Being able to grab fresh coconut water on the road, buy fruit and veggies from roadside vendors, and head to the beach whenever I feel like… this is the life I was looking for.
Slowing down, that’s what I needed. And that’s exactly what I get here.
Of course, it’s not perfect. Forget the convenience of late-night Thai food, sushi, or honestly anything delivered at anytime. Forget the easy access to everything, anytime. The slow life can get frustrating. But nothing is perfect, it teaches patience, presence and appreciation.
Pause, breathe and remember what truly matters.
After years of living abroad, traveling, and learning to carry less, I think I was already being prepared for a life with fewer distractions and fewer unnecessary wants, so it doesn’t bother me. I’m not out there spending money on things I don’t need. Sure, the convenience of grabbing late-night food when craving hits is tempting… Time to learn to make it myself.
I hear you, it’s not the same. But honestly? I’d rather live this life now than stay unhappy in a place where everything is accessible… except real connection.
Here, people actually talk to each other. The communication flows, and it feels good. Each time I get on a bus or cross paths with someone, there’s a greeting – a simple “Good morning” or “Good afternoon”, and it makes such a difference. That little human connection, often overlooked elsewhere, is just part of everyday life here. And I am here for it!
I’ve never been attached to things, it’s always been about the experiences. I won’t take objects with me when I die, anything can be gone in a minute, but memories of a life well lived? Those stay forever.
That’s also part of why I started writing, in case one day, God forbid, my mind no longer remembers, I’ll still be able to read my stories… and relive every beautiful pieces of it.
What Now?
So, right now, I’m just taking it day by day. Figuring out where to stay long-term, which is proving to be a bit of a mission with Carnaval around the corner and everything booked out. But that’s a story for another post.
For now, I’m soaking in the vibes, letting my creativity flow, and feeling inspired again. My mind’s buzzing with ideas, and painting – something I haven’t done in ages – is slowly finding its way back into my life.
Saint Lucia’s already working its magic. It might not be “home” yet, but it already feels like I’m on the right path.
Have you ever felt like a place just clicked with your soul? Or maybe you’ve had your own “time to go” moment somewhere?
I’d love to hear about it – drop a comment or message me, I’m always up for a good story!