Why I quit chasing the dream of success and what living overseas taught me instead.
Living overseas didn’t just change my address, it completely reshaped my thinking about what it means to be successful and stable. Success now isn’t climbing the career ladder or owning a home; it became about adaptability, growth and feeling at peace wherever I am.
When I landed in New Zealand at 27, I didn’t know anyone, didn’t have a real plan, had no safety net; and yet, I felt good! That’s when I started rethinking what success really meant.
Stability is not about having a fixed routine or familiar surroundings anymore; it’s about trusting myself to navigate uncertainty and create a life that fits me, not the other way round.
For many people, having it together still means finding a stable job, buying a house, and staying put. The kind of life where you work your way up in the same company for decades, know all your neighbors by name and have a fixed routine that rarely changes.
But that lifestyle never felt right to me. The thought of staying in the same job, in the same city my WHOLE LIFE? No thank you! That idea gave me anxiety. And it wasn’t because I was afraid of responsibility, I just knew I wasn’t meant to live on repeat. I craved movement, new places, and the kind of changes that makes you keep learning and growing.
Watching friends settle into 9-5 routines, I felt a mix of admiration and panic; it was comforting and terrifying at the same time. Comforting because they had a sense of how their lives would unfold, but terrifying because that sense of certainty came at the cost of so much else. Even though life can change in an instant, the thought of staying in the same job for 20 years, commuting the same route every day, and living the same routine… it felt like missing out on another kind of life. I doubt the world is meant to be glimpsed only twice a year on vacation, if we’re lucky.
When I was about 10, I told my mother that by 25 I’d be living overseas. I ended up leaving at 27; not bad for a manifestation! I grew up glued to travel documentaries, watching modern explorers head off to places never heard of before. I definitely blame them for this lifestyle lol
How could I ever stay put after seeing all the beautiful places the world has to be seen!
How it reshaped my career and way of thinking
At first, I realized the traditional career path I imagined wasn’t the only way, or even the best way, to build a meaningful life. Without family nearby or a familiar network, I had to rely on myself more than ever.
I had to be flexible. Sometimes taking jobs that didn’t match the “dream career”. In New Zealand, I learned that by cleaning in the morning, I could get free or discounted nights at the hostel I was staying in. So that’s what I did, and honestly it was kind of fun, especially since I was doing it with new friends who were in the same situation. It wasn’t crazy hard work either and we usually finished pretty early. Yes, I cleaned toilets, kitchen, change beds… work is work.
One person who influenced me profoundly, was a girl I met in Australia who quickly became like family. She had a rough life and learned to rely on herself. I admire her so much because of how she pulls through life and mostly for her brain always finding a way out of any problem! As she said, “when you need money, you find work, any work and you do it!”. That attitude kept me going and helped me stay open to different jobs to get where I needed to be.
This mindset gave me a newfound freedom; I was not putting myself in a box anymore. After all, traveling on your own and moving to a complete new country teaches you skills that are 100% transferable to any job.
You become adaptable, flexible, quick to learn. Budgeting? yep, can do. Create itineraries? Checked. Planning and problem-solving? Got it. Communication? Absolutely, in two, and almost three, languages. Plus, being around people from all over the world and from every walk of life…
And that’s just the start.
Tip: Try taking on a small challenge outside your comfort zone this week; it could be something as simple as planning a solo weekend trip or tackling a task you’ve been avoiding. Even small steps build confidence and adaptability
With this mindset, I stopped chasing titles and started choosing experiences and routines that aligned with my values, not anyone else’s.
Living overseas also taught me to prioritise lifestyle over status. Success, to me, is not about having a fancy job or a big pay check if it means sacrificing the things that bring joy, whether that’s exploring new places, spending time with close ones, or simply waking up excited for the day ahead.
I found stability in routines that I created for myself, no matter the country I was in. It wasn’t about sticking to a fixed path but about building a sense of home inside me that travels wherever I go.
Goals without a set path
Even though I don’t follow a traditional, linear path, I’m clear about what I want in life. I may not have every step mapped out, but the experiences I’ve collected, the countries I’ve travelled/lived in, the people I’ve met, the jobs I’ve taken, etc… are all guiding me toward my goals.
This nomadic life has shown me it’s not about following a straight line. Life is unpredictable. I mean, I planned to go to Canada but ended up in New Zealand instead. The only constant is that I didn’t go back to my country. All these places feel like home now. I’ve spent more years overseas than in Toulouse, the city I moved to at 18! Being overseas is normal to me.
Each twist and turn has added a piece to the bigger puzzle. Every job, even the ones that didn’t fit my dream career, taught me new skills or introduced me to new perspectives. Every culture opened my mind to different ways of living and thinking. Every connection brought unexpected opportunities or lessons.
Each new place, each new challenge, teaches you something valuable about yourself and the world.
Tip: This week, step into something unfamiliar: try a new café, join a local class, or speak to someone you wouldn’t normally meet. Notice what it teaches you.
It’s a constant reminder that comfort zones are often illusions, and that the world is far richer when we step into uncertainty. This isn’t just travel; it’s preparation for life itself
So while, I might not know exactly where the path will take me, I am confident that it’s leading me somewhere meaningful and I am learning to enjoy the journey as much as the destination.
If you’re feeling scared or uncertain about stepping into the unknown, remember: you don’t have to commit to forever. Even a few months or one year overseas can change you in ways you never imagined. Nervous? That means you’re growing! You will return with new confidence, fresh perspectives and skills that will stay with you for life.
No matter how long or short, the journey will be worth it.
How one weekend changed her mindset
When I was in Australia, a friend from France came to visit me. She was worried to travel alone as she always traveled with at least a friend, so this was a big jump, a real big one with over 24hrs trip! But she made it. She told me about how she admired me for traveling on my own. I explained to her that once you are comfortable with your own company, you are good to go. She was mostly anxious about having to dine on her own, thinking people will find it weird, that she will get bored… But the truth is, when you are alone, that’s when you meet people. People are curious most of the time, maybe less now as it is more common; but I used to be asked all the time if I was a traveler and that’s how conversations started.
While she was visiting me, she wanted to see more than Sydney. I could have joined her, but I encouraged her to try a solo adventure instead. After some talking, she booked a weekend trip to Melbourne, on her own. And she loved it! She came back happy, proud she took the leap. It was empowering and even relaxing! Today, she still travels with friends but she also goes on her own when she can. She enjoys things like going to the movies or concerts solo. That one weekend shifted her perspective forever.
Seeing her come back proud and energized reminded me how much courage it takes to trust yourself; and that fear doesn’t have to hold you back
The lesson? Growth isn’t in avoiding risk, it’s in taking the leap, however small.
Could you try one solo adventure this month? Even a short weekend can shift your perspective.
The value of varied experiences
Over the past 11 years, I’ve worked in many different jobs. I didn’t climb the ladder and some might see that as a waste of time. But I learned so much more. I even mastered a completely new profession in a foreign industry and worked there for over 5 years.
I can commit when needed, but I also know the value of growth and challenge. Life is too vast to stay fixated on something that no longer stretches you. Variety keeps me curious, on my toes and constantly learning.
And that’s what I like.
Embrace your own journey
If there’s one thing my life overseas has taught me, it’s that success and stability don’t come in one shape or size. Your path might look completely different from what others expect and that’s ok. What matters most is that it feels true to you.
So don’t be afraid to step off the beaten track, to explore unfamiliar places, or change course when life calls for it. Trust yourself, stay curious and embrace the unknown with open arms. Because when you do, you’ll discover a version of success and stability that’s richer, fuller and entirely your own.
What about you? Do you see success more in stability or in freedom? Has travel ever changed the way you define success?
If you’re ready to step outside your comfort zone, start small. Try a new hobby or visit something new solo. Growth starts with one brave step.